


Where New Lines Intersect

by MajinPiccolo



Category: Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Super, Dragon Ball Z
Genre: Awkward, Double Date, Humor, M/M, an attempt at keeping everyone in character in strange circumstances, non canon ships are my fave ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 09:46:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19972012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MajinPiccolo/pseuds/MajinPiccolo
Summary: While Frieza's life has improved greatly recently- particularly thanks to his unusual relationship with a certain human warrior- he hasn't forgotten his rivalry with Frost. In an effort to show off how much better he is he invites his counterpart to visit them in Universe 7, but hadn't expected Frost to be in a surprise relationship of his own. The result? A very awkward double date.A two chapter humor fic. I endeavored to keep every one in character despite the goofy scenario. Takes place after DBS Broly.





	1. Begin Showing Off

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Friku8706](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Friku8706/gifts).



Where New Lines Intersect by MajinPiccolo

Chapter One: Begin Showing Off

Yamcha got home sweaty and exhausted from work, and didn’t think anything of it as he immediately started peeling off his dirty uniform. Balling it up in his hands he headed toward the laundry, calling out “Frieza, Puar, I’m back-“ then froze in his tracks as he passed the living room. “I uh, didn’t realize we had guests, uh…” 

Beerus, accompanied as always by his attendant Whis, sat across from Frieza. With a sigh, the emperor of space stood up and crossed the room. “Lord Beerus, Whis, this is that partner I had mentioned, Yamcha. Please forgive his… disrespect.”

“We’ve met, actually,” Yamcha answered as he quickly shoved his legs back into his pants. 

“Indeed we have. I must say, Frieza, I never would have expected you to be in a relationship with someone so… humble.”

“Yes, a human who has retired from fighting but is still undoubtably one of the good guys,” Whis chuckled, “I suppose this solves the mystery of why you’ve been behaving yourself of late.” 

Frieza rolled his eyes. “I’m hardly ‘behaving myself,’ thank you very much. I’m merely biding my time. Anyway, regarding that message I asked you to pass on…” 

Beerus and Whis exchanged glances, then Beerus shrugged. “I suppose it does make more sense now, considering Yamcha’s history with Universe 6. Alright then, I will speak with my brother and have him assist in organizing this. And you won’t forget what you promised in return?” 

“Naturally.” 

After the god and angel departed, Frieza sat back down and glared at nothing. “Those two, always so pompous. I’ll enjoy seeing their expressions as they beg me to spare them once I’m the god of this universe-“ 

“Um, Frieza, sorry to interrupt your speech there but what the heck was all that about?” 

“Take a shower and find something less filthy to wear and then I’ll fill you in.”

\- - - 

“You told them I wanted to see Frost?! Why?”

“I figured they’d be more likely to do a favor for someone if that someone wasn’t a villain, and I knew it would be believable if I said you were fascinated by Universe 6. And since they eat like pigs, your cooking seemed a suitable bribe-“

“Okay, that explains why you pinned it on me, but why do YOU want to see Frost? From what I heard about what happened between you two at the Tournament of Power I assumed you guys hated each other.” 

Frieza took a sip of his wine and leaned back on the couch. “Perhaps nostalgia? My life has improved greatly in the last year,” he met Yamcha’s eyes and they both smiled just a little before he continued, “and I wanted to share my current joy with one of the few members of my race that I currently know the location of.” 

“In other words, you just want to show off.” 

“Precisely. I want to make sure that pathetic fool sees how much better I am at him in everything, and that includes my selection of partners.” 

Yamcha blushed, “as always, you give me too much credit babe. But I don’t think Frost is gonna be all that impressed. From what I saw at that tournament where we first met those guys he may be weaker than you but he’s still way stronger than I am. And he wasn’t at the baseball game so it’s not like he saw my bravery there or anything.”

Frieza paused, considering his words carefully. “Dear Yamcha, do you remember when I was looking at that periodical your ex-girlfriend left here a few weeks back?” 

“Oh yeah, that fashion magazine.” 

“I told you the humans in it all seemed to look the same, and you explained to me it was because specific types of features are generally considered to be attractive to humans.”

“Yeah, I mean, individual tastes vary of course, but there are definitely certain things that a lot of humans are into. Where are we going with this though?” 

“That particular bit of predictability isn’t unique to humans. My race also has… preferences. My strength and political influence are of course admired, but,” he paused, wrinkling his nose in distaste before considering, “my irritating brother was considered the ‘handsome’ one due to his height. Vanity was also a factor in my father’s decision to primarily stay in the form he did, as well, for the height. As you’ve seen from Frost and myself, my people tend to be of a, well…” 

“You’re a bunch of shorties.” 

“I’d kill anyone else for saying it so bluntly you know.”

Yamcha laughed and just hugged his smaller partner, “You’ll let me say it because I’m so tall and hot, huh? Huh?” 

Using his tail to separate them, Frieza shook his head, “don’t push your luck. But you understand what I’m saying now, right? Unless Frost has truly strange tastes, he will find you appealing, and it will just drive him completely out of his tiny mind that I’ve managed to get such an attractive partner while he’s still alone.” 

“What makes you think he’s single? I thought you two didn’t really talk about personal stuff during the few minutes you knew each other?”

“Of course he’s single, who in space would put up with him?” 

“Aw, come on, he might cheat in fights and maybe was too quick to trust you but he’s not all bad. He’s cute enough, and fit, and cunning-“ noticing Frieza clench his fists, Yamcha quickly put his arm around his shoulders and stammered, “of course you’re much cuter and fitter and way more cunning and just better in every way! But…” 

“But what, my dear Yamcha? Answer carefully.” 

“You’ve admitted it yourself, you two are a lot alike, that’s all. No need to pout about it, you’re still so much better than he is-“ 

“I’m not pouting.” 

“Yes you are.” 

“Well, now you’ve put me in a just terrible mood…” Frieza glanced up at Yamcha and leaned toward him, lightly running his tail up the human’s leg. “How do you plan on improving it?” 

Yamcha got the hint and scooped up his emperor, running down the hall with him. Puar arrived home from shopping just in time to hear the bedroom door slam shut and sighed, setting down his bags before retreating to his own room and grabbing his noise canceling headphones. 

\- - -

“This is a terrible idea. Frieza wouldn’t be inviting you to his universe if he didn’t have something planned.” Hit glared down at Frost, his severe expression creating quite the contrast with the shorter man’s sly grin. 

“Oh, I don’t doubt it, he’s my counterpart after all,” Frost’s smile widened, “But we haven’t seen each other since he betrayed me at the Tournament. Whatever he has planned, he couldn’t possibly have predicted, well, us…” He wrapped his arms around the older man and smiled when he felt Hit return the embrace. “When I show up with you at my side he’ll be forced to reconsider. A fight against us both would be very difficult for him, even if he used that gaudy golden form of his. And besides, he’ll be so jealous when he sees I have such a tall and handsome partner!” 

“You’re being petty, Frost.” 

“Only because it’s obvious that Frieza is being even pettier.” 

Hit sighed. “I know better than to try and talk you out of things by this point. You’re too stubborn, especially when it comes to your grudge against that man.” 

“I’m so glad you agree. We’ll do this then- I’ll show that fool! He may have outwitted me once, but I’m still the better of us!” Frost could feel Hit trying not to laugh, “Hey, I’m being serious here!” 

Leaning down, Hit smirked. “I can tell. It’s just that your misplaced determination is endearing.” Such compliments always destroyed Frost’s composure, and he could feel his face burning. Hit gave him a quick, light kiss-

“Are you two done?” They quickly turned back to the audience they’d almost forgotten they had, an irritated Champa and calm as ever Vados. “I just need to know what to tell Beerus.” 

“Right, right,” Frost nodded, still blushing. 

“We’ll meet with Frieza in Universe 7 tomorrow as requested.” Hit confirmed. 

“That’s all you needed to say,” Champa sighed. “Let’s go.” Vados flashed a smile at the two warriors, then she and their God of Destruction left. 

Alone again, Frost leaned back against Hit. “We have until tomorrow to be fully prepared. Frieza is going to die when he sees us together! So let’s make sure we’re ready…” 

“Were you wanting to train then?” 

“What? No, of course not. We need to figure out what we’ll be wearing. Frieza wanders around naked all the time so it will be easy to outdress him, but I want to make sure we really shove his face in how much classier we are than he is, and for that we need to look our absolute best!” 

“…you’re trouble, Frost.” 

“Don’t pretend you don’t love it.” 

End Chapter One: Begin Showing Off

Author’s note: a one shot idea that got out of hand so I broke it down into two chapters, the second will go up in a day or two once I edit it. Special thanks to my Frit loving buddy Friku8706 for getting me going on this! I haven’t wrote Frost and Hit in over a year, my apologies for how rusty I am with capturing their ‘voices.’


	2. I Don't Really Fear Them As I Should

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very awkward double date. Yamcha feels the need to keep Frieza and Frost from constantly fighting, but it turns out Hit might have a reason to trust that they won't kill each other... 
> 
> The second and final chapter.

Where New Lines Intersect by MajinPiccolo

Chapter Two: I Don’t Really Fear Them As I Should

“I know it’s a great look for me, but I hate wearing formal clothes,” Yamcha grumbled. “I feel like I can hardly move in this thing.” 

“You won’t need to, if Frost tries anything I’ll protect you. All you need to worry about is looking as appealing as you always do and we’ll be fine.” 

“I know you could beat Frost easily enough, but what about what you’re wearing? That’s a pretty nice suit, nicer than mine-“ 

Frieza laughed. “If it gets destroyed I’ll just buy another, it’s hardly an issue for a man of my wealth.” 

Yamcha shrugged. “If you wanna be wasteful I won’t stop you I guess.” 

“Not wasteful, efficient.” Any further banter was cut off as they were led to their table. Frieza had decided to hold their meeting at the nicest restaurant in West City, hence their upscale apparel. One of the upsides of being a minor celebrity for his baseball playing was that Yamcha could get a reservation more or less anywhere, even at the last moment, but there were of course strings attached, and Frieza watched as his human shook the manager’s hand and posed for a photo. 

“Enjoy your meal, Yamcha! Please, consider it on the house this time.” 

“Thanks man! I appreciate it so much!” As he sunk down into the plush seat of their booth he sighed, leaning against his lover’s shoulder. “You know, if there’s one thing I miss about dating Bulma, it’s that she was a natural for all this celeb shit. A real socialite. I could always let her take care of these things.” 

“Was she now?” Frieza’s tone was icy. “You do realize that if we were anywhere but this backwater of a planet that I’d be the one people were falling over themselves to get the attention of?”

“Aww, you’re jealous of my ex!” Yamcha kissed him on the cheek. “That’s adorable. Unnecessary though- wait. He’s here, I can feel him and he’s got… someone really strong with him.” 

Both men quickly straightened up, tense. “Are you certain? Can you tell who it is?” 

Yamcha focused. The Ki was terrifying, but familiar, he’d felt it before- “Oh fuck, it’s-“

“Hit.” Frieza finished for him. “I should have considered this possibility. Frost I can handle with ease, but if Hit is working with him this will be… somewhat difficult. Stay behind me, Yamcha.” 

Universe 6’s most feared assassin had entered the restaurant, with Frost at his side. Both had also dressed in tailored suits, the human noticed. In fact Frost’s looked familiar, and he nudged his partner and whispered, “Is it just me or is he wearing the exact same outfit as you?” Frieza seemed annoyed by this, but didn’t break his glare as they approached. 

“Frost. I invite you to my universe with nothing but the best intentions and you repay me by hiring an assassin?”

Loving the look of discomfort on his rival’s face, Frost just smiled, “Oh, I can certainly see why that idea would terrify you, but Hit isn’t here on business, he’s accompanying me as my date.” 

“…your date?” 

“Yes. My date.” 

“Ah. He’s rather tall.” 

“Yes. Yes he is.” 

Happy to have impressed, Frost took a seat, and Hit did the same, followed by an irritated Frieza. Finally noticing Yamcha, he asked, “were you planning on introducing me to your, uh, butler?” 

Frieza made a show of taking Yamcha’s hand in his own and replied, “Such a sense of humor, Frost. This gorgeous man is my beloved partner, Yamcha.” 

“A human? Aren’t they particularly weak?” Frost asked with faked concern. “I certainly had little trouble with them during the Tournament of Power, and unless I’m mistaken, wasn’t this Yamcha just a spectator and not even a participant during the battle that first brought our universes together? It must be so concerning, constantly having to look after him.” 

While his tone was light, Yamcha could feel the stress in his other half’s grip as he replied. “Oh, I’m more than strong enough to keep us both safe, and my dear Yamcha has plenty of other charms to make up for his lesser strength. The very fact that you can recall seeing him watching during that tournament is a prime example- certainly you noticed and remembered him due to his handsome looks? I find this a much preferable arrangement than having to rely on someone else to make me feel safe.” He shot a pointed glance at Hit as he said this. Frost didn’t take the bait, however, and just leaned casually against his date’s arm. 

“To each their own, I suppose. As for myself I’d rather be half of the strongest couple in the universe than have my abilities averaged out with someone so much weaker, but again, if that’s your preference, then by all means!” 

Tired of both being insulted and the escalating tension in the air, Yamcha endeavored to change the topic. “Our waiter should be back any time now, does everyone know what they’re planning on ordering?” 

“Ah yes, I was so distracted by the pleasure of Frost’s company that I nearly forgot to look at the menu,” Frieza replied sarcastically, and there was a moment of blissful silence as the group did so. 

Sure enough, a moment later the waiter returned, welcoming the newly arrived couple and offering to answer any questions or take drink orders. Frieza immediately spoke up, requesting a bottle of their best red wine, causing Yamcha to momentarily cringe at the price tag before remembering that management had offered to cover their meal and relaxing again. Frost immediately followed with a request for an expensive bottle of white. Frieza gave him a look of pure disgust, and as the two counterparts glared at each other for a second, Yamcha and Hit made accidental eye contact, and the human couldn’t help but snicker. The assassin glanced between their dates and Yamcha, then shrugged just slightly and gave him one of his rare smiles. 

Yamcha decided he wasn’t so scared of Hit after all. Maybe he’d be an ally in keeping the other two from getting at each other’s throats. “So, uh, Hit, Frost, I had no idea you two were a couple! How did you wind up together?” 

Frost perked up at that question. “Well, it’s rather romantic, really. I had been intrigued by Hit from our prior meetings, but hadn’t had any real opportunities to get to know him. However, not long after the Tournament of Power I was trying to reestablish myself when a contract was taken out on my life. To my amazement, Hit decided against fulfilling it.” 

“Really? From what I’d heard about him from Goku never leaving a job undone was a point of pride for him. Hit, what made you spare Frost?” 

The assassin took his time answering, looking for a moment at Frost before addressing Yamcha. “I thought he’d make a good apprentice.” 

“That’s right! Hit has been training me. I now know over fifty critical points to attack in order to kill someone with just one blow!” 

“Is that so? That must be such a useful skillset,” Frieza replied, “…for someone of your lacking strength, anyway. As for myself I don’t have to worry about aiming for any special area, my usual power is sufficient to fatally wound someone without having to obsess over a specific point of contact.” 

“I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that you’re more interested in just throwing brute force at every problem rather than using your intellect.” 

Yamcha almost stepped in at that point, as the two counterparts looked about ready to throw the table aside and start punching each other, but thankfully the restaurant’s sommelier showed up with the wine they’d ordered, and things were at least briefly defused as they sampled and ultimately accepted the bottles. 

“You’ve heard our story now,” Frost commented between sips of his drink, “but how did you end up partnered with a human?” 

Oh boy… Yamcha knew Frieza wouldn’t want to tell this story, so he answered carefully for him, “well, Frieza had been injured, and I thought if I helped him back to health he’d be more charitable toward the Earth in the future and you know, less likely to uh, blow it up again.”

“I was impressed by his bravery, knowing he’d stand no chance against me in a fight and attempting to win my favor anyway,” Frieza added, “and as time passed we grew close.” 

“I think you skipped the most important part of that story,” Frost sneered. “Frieza was injured? Now, how in space did that happen?” 

“That’s not important,” Yamcha quickly replied. 

“Of course it is-“ 

Hit broke his silence. “Fighting the Saiyans.” 

Frieza glared, “and you knew that how?” 

“It was obvious.” 

Once again the timely arrival of restaurant staff stopped a fight, as the waiter was back to see if they were ready to put in their food orders. Frieza and Yamcha ordered their entrees, then Frost ordered his- the same as Frieza had ordered- and Hit skipped straight to the dessert menu, requesting several items off of it instead.

“Wow Hit, you so do not look like the type to have such a sweet tooth,” Yamcha commented. Hit just shrugged in reply. 

There was a moment of awkward silence after that as Frieza and Frost sipped their wine and glared at each other. Yamcha cast around desperately for a conversation starter that wouldn’t get the two shorter men pissed off again, and finally turned his attention back to Hit. “I really loved watching you go up against Goku in the Gods of Destruction’s tournament, that was the most exciting fight I’d seen in a long time!” 

This was the first Frieza had heard of such a thing. “You fought Son Goku prior to the Tournament of Power? What was the outcome?” 

“He resigned,” he answered. 

“Interesting. Had things continued, who do you think would have triumphed?” 

“Due to the rules of the tournament I was forced to hold back-“ 

“But you did kill Goku after that!” Frost interjected. Hit nodded to confirm this. 

Frieza nearly spit his wine. “You killed Goku?!” Hit again nodded, but it was clear to Yamcha that his partner wanted more details, so he spoke up. 

“I wasn’t there when it happened, but Piccolo told me about it. Goku put a contract on himself so that he could fight Hit without tournament rules getting in the way-“ 

“Goodness, I knew that Saiyan wasn’t the brightest, but he actually hired his own hitman?” Frieza chuckled. 

“Yeah, I know, he’s always pulling reckless stunts like that. Anyway, Hit of course tracked him down and killed him, but Goku had planned ahead and basically shocked himself back to life seconds later.” 

“I’d think that makes it abundantly clear that Hit is the strongest of any of us,” Frost added. “However, he isn’t the only one who would have easily defeated Goku if tournament rules hadn’t interfered.” 

“Really now? Meaning what, exactly?” Frieza asked. 

Yamcha shrugged. “Well, if we’re being technical Frost did beat Goku. Piccolo, too, he just got disqualified for using a weapon. Heck, he probably woulda beat Vegeta too if Jaco hadn’t stepped in.” 

Frost was smirking again. “That’s right. So that means both myself and my partner have defeated your greatest rival, isn’t that funny, Frieza?” 

Feeling the tension rising once again Yamcha blurted out, “Not that that means anything, I mean, even I beat Goku back in the day-“ and instantly regretted it as Frost laughed. 

“Dear me, even the weak human has managed to do what you couldn’t, Frieza!” 

“To be technical, Frieza basically has taken down Goku, like, the second time he came to Earth!” Yamcha, still desperate to avoid conflict, quickly added, “with just a little help from one of his soldiers, he even blew the planet up and killed me!” He laughed awkwardly before continuing, “but Whis rewound time and gave Goku a second chance so…” 

Frost faked concern. “What terrible luck, even the deities of your universe broke their supposed neutrality to make sure you failed!” 

Moving almost too fast to be seen, Frieza leaned over the table and grabbed Frost by the throat. “You seem to have quite the low opinion of me. Perhaps we should go outside and settle this once and for all?” 

As the emperor of Universe 7 dragged his counterpart outside, Yamcha tried to follow, but Hit grabbed him by the shoulder and pushed him back into his seat. Ignoring the confused stares of the couple at the table next to theirs the human asked, “shouldn’t we go stop them?!”

Hit shook his head. “You can sense their energy, correct? So you’ll know if either of them is in real danger. But I think it’s best to let them work out their issues physically for a bit.” 

“Aren’t you worried about Frost though? I’m not trying to trash talk your universe here, but objectively all signs suggest Frieza’s got the upper hand between those two.” 

“Frost is a lot stronger than he was last time they fought, and less naive as well. But Frieza won’t kill Frost. He needs him there as someone to compare himself against.” 

Yamcha blinked. “You know… I think you’re right. I can’t believe I didn’t realize that myself, when he’s supposed to be my boyfriend.” 

Hit smiled just a little. “Well, he and Frost have more in common than they like to admit, and I know Frost.” 

“I guess you’re right…” He paused for a moment to make sure the fight was under control, and while he could feel they were still going at it, neither one’s Ki had decreased enough to suggest any sort of real danger to them, and he could tell they were doing things far enough from the city so as not to risk anyone else. He knew that much was his own influence on Frieza and smiled a little himself, then returned his attention to the other man at the table. “Hey, Hit, you seem so level headed. Why the heck are you romantically interested in someone like Frost?” 

“…” 

He paused long enough that Yamcha began to wonder if he’d just ignored the question, but he finally spoke, “I could tell no one else had ever given him a chance to be anything more than he was, and I suppose I was fascinated by his potential. Besides, he’s cute.” 

“Heh, that makes sense!” 

“If I answered, I expect you to do the same. Why is a human friend of the heroes involved with a villain like Frieza?” 

“Um, I guess I just have a thing for strong willed, driven personalities like his. And, well, he’s cute too.” 

“I see. And it’s obvious why they both are interested in us-“ 

“Yeah, that height fetish they’ve got!” 

When Frieza and Frost, both looking a bit rough, returned to the restaurant and found their dates relaxed and laughing together, they were a bit baffled. 

“You almost never laugh like this, Hit, what is happening?” Frost demanded, and when he didn’t get an answer he grabbed his arm and said, “Anyway, let’s go, I don’t think I can stand another moment in his presence.” 

“That’s right,” Frieza taunted, “run back to your own lame universe, you aren’t wanted here!” 

As Frost and Hit turned to leave, Yamcha spoke up. “Hey, Hit. Take care of him, alright?” 

The assassin nodded. “You do the same.” 

Watching them exit the restaurant together, Yamcha turned to Frieza. “I think that went really well! We should invite them back again sometime soon!” 

“My dear Yamcha, I was the one just barely in a fight, yet you’re acting like you took a blow to the head!” 

“Heh, maybe. Let’s go home for now. I’ll ask you again next time you need someone to compare yourself to.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Don’t worry about it,” he gave his partner a quick kiss, then grabbed his hand. “Let’s go!” 

End Where New Lines Intersect by MajinPiccolo

Author’s note: I feel bad that they never got to actually eat their food. Whoops. Hope you enjoyed the story, here’s the part where I request comments and kudos, heh. They’ll fuel me to edit and publish the stuff that’s rotting on my hard drive currently, so yeah, if you want more Yamza say so. Heck, same if you want more Frit.


End file.
